2011/02/03 - Impermanence
Trick has gone back to the Tricorn with a copy of the records so far. I think i was still eighteen when we met; now I'm just about twenty six. Its strange not to have her around; we four have been together so long that it’s like losing a limb. It’s another loss, Peri, Isabella and the part of me that liked Trick.
I am being cut down like a stone emerging from the matrix; facet by facet until I reflect everything inwards and nothing of me can ever get out again. Only the reflection of his will ….
Sometimes I really ….. hate Frost
I need to keep busy.
It is strangely peaceful here again. The planet is beautiful and the ruins have much that I need to understand. There is the illusion of time to think and safety to do things. Well, relative safety if one ignores Cain practicing survival in the background. Zuriel has stayed within the metal walls of the station; the sky is not his thing.
Peace and nothing to do except engage in my studies. That is the problem though, I am turning in on myself again and I am filling the void with my curiosity.
I am waiting for word from the Tricorn
Advice on whether to just declare a Warrant against the Amaranthine Syndicate or to carry on
I dreamt of my future self; a nightmare about the that we didn’t really keep enough watch after Haarlock. Are the Slaugh or the Dark Eldar the greater foe?
I dreamt of the station and the battle; a nightmare that the Dark Eldar are manipulating my actions; my hate for their own ends. Otherwise why are we not dead?
Frost has sent me Victus an adept, a psyker. He has carried my data to me but he is not Trick. He also appears to have never been outside a library in his life.
He is different, not one of us. Frost knows me; he knows how I think; what I have done in the past and what I will always do. God Emperor, I asked him for permission first before I did it. What does Frost expect? Who is being tested here now? More than that; what is Frost trying to get me to do?
I asked for the White Sage; not a demonologist. Frost knows about Zuriel's incident, Cain's too?
With any luck he will get himself killed without hurting one of us too seriously. Or without demonstrating skills that I can't approve of.
Sepheris Secundus again
Well Frost's data point's to Sepheris Secundus home of Tosc, mines, mutants, strange metal (warp) bombs and Weird Rooms. I am willing to bet this one is the Serrated Query and not the Slaugh. The Navy and the Planetary Authorities don't seem to know anything useful. People died and they don't know how or why. I think I need to go to that valley and see what the Machine Cult Magus is actually up to. This may be the first time that my enemy's enemy may be something other than my enemy or my enemy to be.
The Navy can supply me with a gun cutter and suitable gear. I need to get down there and find out what's going on; more importantly why it's going on.
Conversations with a Stranger
The Eldar is dead; it seems that its mission was to tell us something more of that terrible thing; what may happen because Haarlock has not happened. Haarlock was not the first; his plans rode on the older and darker schemes of others or so the Xenos said. Then he talked about thins that I have only seen recorded as secrets in the Books that I have studied. It quoted ancient horrors; terrible names Magus the Red; the Thousand Suns. It told me find Haarlock's teacher. Itis Xenos butit is a terrible temptation to know why and not just what is happening.
Knowledge is strength and if I fear anything then I am afraid of failure and through my failure the loss of that which I am entrusted. In the end my fears are the fears of my blood; I fear the failure of duty. However my fear is a thin thing compared to the need to know more.
In the end is last words angered me; I had forgotten the data about the Faceless One. I need to do better and I need to think more clearly. I would like to discard its words but I need the data and I cannot let this go. Its actions were purposeful enough to bind the rest of the Eldar from our deaths even though we searched the corpse roughly. Strange, is it possible that my enemy's enemy may hate it enough to help me?
Again it is the Serrated Query and the old dark riddle of the Adrante. Again it's that chain back to the start; back to when Frost set me to this purpose and now he has sent this new Adept. I do not trust him and I need to understand Frost's purpose in sending him. I don't have the time for these games in the dark. This is one question where I can force an answer, there is no loyalty between us now and I can not risk my purpose. I need more data and Frost has answers.
Sometimes I wish Frost would simply tell me .. I am tired of having to work things out. However,I doubthe will simply take the hint that teaching methods beyond the Socratic method my work.
We found the Magus. Conversation with it is difficult, more like a cogetator than a man. Still it shares enough common goals and is not Xenos so that willhave to be enough. It is here becuse of a lost cache of Adarante tech, it says thatis what killed the people and tells me about the death of Adrante 5 when Drusus crusaded through this sector. I think I will share what data I can with it; we need the ally.